It's like I'm a lady... but I'm not.

“So.

I’m just, um.

Thank you for calling.

I have not honestly been thinking about this - at all, actually. I had company in town for three days and that was really busy. And… I’m busy with the tea. And… I guess, because, you know… It was what it was. And I. And there’s nothing to talk about. Um. So, yeah. I was planning on coming to your party on Saturday with Cooper and my friend Dan who is going to be in town and maybe his dog. So, I’ll be here, um. Yes, busy. But, you know. Whatever. No hard feelings. I just. I don’t. I’m not mad at you, angry with you. I don’t want to be angry. I don’t have the emotional capacity to be angry. Um. You know. We’re just different. There are things that you freely talk about that I don’t. And never have. And, you know. Um, we’ve always been that way. And so I’ve known that and you’ve known that. So… I just don’t think that I… should… You know, if I don’t want someone to know something then I shouldn’t say anthying. So I’m just, you know, going to be better about keeping my… personal life personal because that’s how I am. Um.

So anyway! No hard feelings, you know. I just wanted, you know, to be done with it… And we can be friends… And if you need anything… you can call me.

Ok, bye.”

This sounds like the biggest passive aggressive fuck off ever. 
I don’t do vapid.