It's like I'm a lady... but I'm not.

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 02:12:21 -0500

angeliquexo: whiskeyred: jensensations: Ryan Gosling won’t...

Wed, 15 May 2013 02:08:32 -0500

angeliquexo:

whiskeyred:

jensensations:

Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal (x)

Ok this is good…

absolutely. wonderful.

aaamaaazooon: LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:40:03 -0500

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

DO NOT TOUCH THAT SULTRY UNICORN

idiotsonfb: yum. CADAVIAR! Whatever, that’s genius.

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:33:26 -0500

idiotsonfb:

yum.

CADAVIAR! Whatever, that’s genius.

tyleroakley: REMINDS ME OF MY EX. Badaddle!

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:30:39 -0500

tyleroakley:

REMINDS ME OF MY EX.

Badaddle!

Cheers.

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 00:56:27 -0500

For old friends, dear friends, new friends and love:

Every drink deserves a toast.
A beverage shared has more than one good reason to be consumed and if the company you keep keeps you engaged and engulfs you in love then an official toast is in order.

Simplicity is key as it’s encouraged to save room for more. The evening’s intoxicating words of encouragements open the doors of honesty bellowing invitations of deeper connections.

Cheers, to ambiance and the removal of stress. Cheers, to sweet characters of a mystery story. Cheers, to the unfolding, the excitement, the anticipation, the appreciation. Cheers to you, cheers to me, cheers to us.

Xo.
And I’m totally sober.
Cheers to a drink for a later rendezvous.

eclecticmuses: marapetsrules: condescendingchristian: glossyla...

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 21:31:43 -0600

eclecticmuses:

marapetsrules:

condescendingchristian:

glossylalia:

athenasaurus:

marsandry:

caityycatt:

thedailyfeed:

Ever wonder how dinosaurs got it on? These bizarre scientific scenes — by an illustrator who worked with Halstead — imagine how the 30-ton prehistoric behemoths had sex.

I’m sorry, but why? Who does this?

These people are perverts, they really put a lot of thought into the faces.

Yo, the lady brontosaurus is UNIMPRESSED.

i just reblogged dinosaur porn, congratz this blog is finally complete

We have reached the end of the internet, everyone go home. Last person out please cut the lights.

If dinosaur porn is the end of the internet, then this website is its goodbye party: http://iwantmoar.com/4842

tyleroakley: They are ruining marriage, by setting the bar WAY...

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 21:18:51 -0600

tyleroakley:

They are ruining marriage, by setting the bar WAY too fucking high.

Perfect couple is perfect.

NPH in love is the cutest.

website win

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:48:04 -0600

website win

Dear, everyone (myself included):

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 04:24:28 -0600

Dear, everyone (myself included):

I Have A Rendezvous with Death

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 04:20:27 -0600

I have a rendezvous with Death
At some disputed barricade,
When Spring comes back with rustling shade
And apple-blossoms fill the air-
I have a rendezvous with Death
When Spring brings back blue days and fair.

It may be he shall take my hand
And lead me into his dark land
And close my eyes and quench my breath-
It may be I shall pass him still.
I have a rendezvous with Death
On some scarred slope on battered hill,
When Spring comes round again this year
And the first meadow-flowers appear.

God knows ‘twere better to be deep
Pillowed in silk and scented down,
Where love throbs out in blissful sleep,
Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,
Where hushed awakenings are dear…
But I’ve a rendezvous with Death
At midnight in some flaming town,
When Spring trips north again this year,
And I to my pledged word am true,
I shall not fail that rendezvous.

- Alan Seeger, 1888-1916

Included in the Epilogue of “Legionnaire” by Simon Murray.

And if I can ruin the ending, only so that I may cherish it and the genuine rush of tears and the feeling forever:

“But there is time. And to those that totter on the brink, my advice is to go and climb the mountains of life, and do so while you are young and you will be happy at sixty.”

There are very few who know exactly what this means to me.

xo.

sosuperawesome: Creature Industry Gimme

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 19:39:59 -0600

sosuperawesome:

Creature Industry

Gimme

The greatest there ever was.

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 19:07:01 -0600

The greatest there ever was.

oddoracecar: Dawwwwww @JAKEANDAMIR IS THAT YOU?!

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 11:07:11 -0600

oddoracecar:

Dawwwwww

@JAKEANDAMIR IS THAT YOU?!

Whenever I see a Kay Jewelers holiday commercial

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:53:36 -0600

myfriendsaremarried:

GIF WIN

mojomagazine: A Message From Queens Of The Stone Age “Even a...

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:50:43 -0600

mojomagazine:

A Message From Queens Of The Stone Age

“Even a bad event can turn into an unforgettable song”. As you can see from the message above, Josh Homme et al have been working on new studio recordings. The next QOTSA album is due to be released during the first half of 2013.

The band’s last LP, Era Vulgaris, was released in 2007.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxsexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

tyleroakley: i-have-been-johnlocked: Mesmerizing. Love...

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:33:23 -0600

tyleroakley:

i-have-been-johnlocked:

Mesmerizing.

Love you, internet. Some people just don’t understand.

DC Pierson: "Things Change"

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:24:07 -0600

DC Pierson: "Things Change":

dcpierson:

Yo, thing on a tiny screen that I also check my e-mail on, that I’m only half-paying attention to because I’m also chatting with my roommate here in this fully lit room and also periodically clicking over to Facebook, enchant me the way my grandfather was enchanted by something on a literal…

JUSTIN’S BALLS ON FIRE

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 01:23:11 -0600

JUSTIN’S BALLS ON FIRE

SYMBOLISM!(I think someone is finally over @jtimberlake....

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 01:21:59 -0600

SYMBOLISM!
(I think someone is finally over @jtimberlake. It’s ok… Me, too, B. Me, too.)